I suppose that every profession has its (negative) stereotypes, but some days it seems like change management has more than others.  Maybe it's because change management often sits next to OD (organizational development), which tends to sit next to HR...and everyone loves to make fun of HR, even when they're simultaneously saying that people are their mosst important asset.

Whatever the reason, I found myself thinking about these stereotypes and cliches today, and how I address them.  Maybe you'll find my responses helpful the next time you're trapped in a boardroom watching a PowerPoint presentation littered with statements that sound good but actually aren't helpful at all.

1.  "If you're not riding the wave of change, you'll find yourself underneath it."

I guess this is supposed to conjure images of a surfer, skimming expertly atop the swell, while unsuspecting swimmers are pulled to their deaths by the undertow.  But it's good to remember that waves are transitory, and in fact can be generated in enclosed bodies of water that go nowhere.  So - to continue the metaphor - you may be expending an awful lot of energy to 'ride' something that isn't going to be there tomorrow anyway.  A better strategy might be to become a stronger swimmer.

2.  "We need to see some quick wins in order to get buy-in."

All I have to say about this one is:  If you didn't get buy-in before you started, a few quick wins aren't going to help you.  This says to me that you haven't helped anyone, senior management or employees, understand the goals and rewards.  Quick wins won't change this - they'll only leave you on a path you can't sustain.  If you have to constantly demonstrate 'quick wins' to keep people on your side, you aren't set up for success.

3.  "Let's not get trapped in the past."

Yes, change is about moving forward.  The problem is that "Let's not get trapped in the past" can often become "Let's throw the baby out with the bathwater", which is not productive.  Examining your organizational history with an eye to keeping the good stuff and changing the bad is a more effective foundation for meaningful change.

4.  "We need to get all our ducks in a row."

There's a big difference between 'taking the time to get it right' and 'putting the launch date off for another 6 weeks because Bob from Accounting can't be bothered to come to meetings and his team still hasn't completed their deliverables.'  Great change management sometimes requires decisive action - like telling Bob that whether his ducks are coming or not, everyone else is off to the pond.

5.  "This organization is already changing - every single day!"

This cliche is particularly dangerous, because it's both completely true and completely false at the same time.  No organization is completely static:  Market conditions fluctuate, employees join and leave, clients buy more or less - so yes, the organization is changing on a day-to-day basis.  But in many fundamental ways it's not changing at all.  Overall, it's still selling the same products, using the same computers, operating from a stable location, etc.  Not all change is created equal.  You may be able to change the brand of coffee in the staff room without too much upheaval, for example, but replacing the coffee with tea is likely to be significantly more problematic.  And that's just coffee, not a major process shift.

6.  "Everyone around here is used to change because we change a lot."

If you think your employees are used to change because you are constantly changing their world, you're wrong.  They're tired.  They are bone tired.  And they aren't any better at change but they've figured out it doesn't matter, because you change so often they know nothing you mandate will be around for very long.  This doesn't bode well for the overall health of the business, so you might want to get your money up-front.  

No doubt there will be a Part II to this list of cliches, because I know there are many.

What change management cliches get your eyes rolling?

(As always, find me on Twitter @BethBanksCohn.)

Imagine:  You’ve created a new organizational structure which turns the traditional hierarchy on its head.  Your new org structure is new!  It’s creative!  It’s innovative!  Most importantly, you know it’s exactly what your organization needs in order to move to the next level. 

You announce your new structure on a Monday morning, and tell everyone that it’ll go into effect two weeks from that Monday.  You take the senior leadership team through an exciting PowerPoint presentation detailing your plans, then send them out to make it happen in their departments.  You’re excited - the future is so bright, and your organization is going to be so well-positioned to take advantage of the opportunities coming down the pike!

Cut to:  Six months later.  You’re sitting in a conference room with your senior leadership team, trying to figure out how, exactly, your business has fallen so dangerously behind the competition.  The innovative organizational structure that seemed so promising 6 months ago has dissolved into chaos, your top performers are starting to evacuate, and if you don’t come up with a miracle, fast, you won’t be at the head of the boardroom table much longer.

So what happened? 

(Change + innovation) - (change management plan) = Changerous

Things get changerous when you try to implement a whole new model without a change management plan.

“Change management?!” you scoff.  “Who has time to be that boring and old-school?  Around here, change is hardwired into our DNA.  We’re dynamically synergistic, we’re early adopters!  We’re so far ahead of the curve we’re practically Zappos!  Go on - take your Gantt charts with you, while our all-Millennial workforce conducts our entire business via Tumblr!”

Rriiigggght.

Here are 3 things you might want to think about:

1. Done right, change management plans can (and should) be just as innovative as the change itself.  It might help you to know that Google had a very detailed change management plan for the implementation of Google Glass
2. Your business may have done a lot of changing in the recent past, but that doesn’t mean you’ve gotten better at it.  In fact, it may mean that your employees don’t bother to make changes because they know next week they’ll have to do it differently anyway
3. Your 20-something employees may seem amenable to change, but their lack of experience may make it difficult for them to really implement it effectively.  Even the brightest, most agile employees need to understand how their jobs will change, and how all the new pieces fit together.

Think about it this way:  You’ve been driving for years, and you’re pretty good at it.  Then someone hands you the keys to a Maserati, says, “It’s all yours - have fun!”, and walks off into the sunset.  You get in the car, turn the key in the ignition - and then realize it’s a stick shift, which you’ve never driven before.  Trying to get it out of the parking garage without getting a couple of lessons in driving manual transmissions?  That’s changerous.